4.02.2010 @ 2:17:00 PM
No Not Remembering
Sometimes, for me to really ponder about something, I'd have to write about it. For me to really understand, to really take heart and realize, I'd have to open a window that says NEW POST.
And this is what I've thought:
For the past few weeks, life has been especially pathetic. I know, because nothing could ever be more pathetic than what those weeks have offered me. It brought me to my weakest point. To the point where I feared to be in. To the point where I mind not understanding much. To the point where I asked, "Where are you God? Why have you forsaken me?"
I cried. Buckets and buckets of tears all because I allowed the situation to get the best of me. To make my life so utterly miserable like a stray cat in an alleyway singing to a song I'm not sure I can sing. I became weak and tired and lonely and worthless all together. And it's all because I forgot.
I forgot that all the harsh situations in life should not dictate how I feel about God. I ignored the gravity that's pulling me away from him, thinking everything's alright. I forgot that everything will be alright only with him because he has that everything under control. It says in Psalm 26: 14: "Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord." Because in Psalm 37:4, if you "[d]elight yourself in the Lord, he will give you the desires of your heart."
And this is what I've realized:
James 1: 12: "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receiver the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
Romans 8: 28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
You could not not remember. God gave his one and only son to die for my sins (John 3:16) so that I may go and live a life according to his will, according to his purpose and his promise. And his promise is always good, pleasing, and perfect. (Romans 12:2, Jeremiah 29:11)
I didn't deserve this. And God doesn't deserve my ridiculous complaints about life because I'm the only one making it suck humongously. Hence, I have nothing to worry about. I just have to believe and press on. What he has done on that cross should be tied a knot around my finger whenever I feel that way.
I could not not remember.
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