artist/band: The Civil Wars
telly on: on everything Josh Hutcherson
soundtrack: Summer House - Gold Motel
flick: Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
book: Star Girl - Jerry Spinelli


"The fool looks at a finger that points to the sky."

- Amelie





You know I love you, don't be a fool.

Kira de Ocampo. Singer-Songwriter. Creative Writing student in UP Diliman. I am basically a grandma inside a 21-year-old body.



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My eighteenth birthday would probably be 30 days away from now, and instead of the original plan of wasting bucks on a debut, my dad gave me one good deal of a choice between that one-night fancy event (which may or may not turn out the way I would like it to be... like) and a what-you-could-use-for-five-years car. After a couple of days setting my mind to crash mode of which I would pick, I reckoned it would really be best (and well, rational) to take the car.

Before I knew it, I grew interested in tons of different vrooms. From Toyoties to Hondies to Fordies to Chevies. Also part of understanding the world of cars would be knowing the two types of transmission, and as we all know, the automatic and manual.

To all of us, an automatic car would seem a whole lot easier to learn and get along with than that of the manual. It gets really messed up if you're not yet that equipped of manning a manual car. Although it would apparently help learning to, others would rather consider a matic for safety and other must-be-infallible reasons.

We could totally relate this to our Christian lives. The same way most people would choose to man their own lives or being rather automatic than having faith in letting God take over is because they think it's, well, easier that way.

They think deciding for themselves, following their own rules, and conforming to the worldly standards can keep them safe, painless, and bullet-proof. Why should they risk surrending when they would be off-guard without the smooth sailing course they already have? Of course, "smooth" doesn't mean it "stays smooth". It will only be a matter of time to realize that it's all downhill from here.

Having God drive your life may seem to tamper you pride at first. A whole lot of effort to let it go too. Plus, you may encounter not one but many bumps along the hackin road more than you expect. But if we just pull over and think real hard, we see that God can manuever better than we think we can. He can sustain your clutch, hit the breaks when it gets messed up, and push the pedal straight ahead to what He has planned for you, and not going around in circles trying to find a way out Baguio City.

Learning how to drive a manual is like learning to be manual for God. It may be tricky at first, and you do need to get used to it, but you'll come a lot more invulnerable in case of emergency. :)


PS: Car arrives tonight.

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Okaaaaaay. Here's the chase. I have this MAJOR (major talaga, as in) crush with this guy in one of my classes. Sobra talaga. One time, I sat infront of him pa sa may CAL, tapos I tried making papansin by calling my mom on the phone and accidentally napapalakas yung boses ko. Feeling ko naiistorbo ko na sha. Kasi, men, nag-aaral sha. NAG-AARAL. Haha.

I get EXTREMELY nervous pag papasok na sha sa class. Ang nakakatawa pa dun, he wears glasses den. Coincidence mygash! LOL, wahoho. Sa totoo lang nga, I actually prayed to God pa to get a chance to know him. Seryoso.

Sana nga may pasok talaga sa Tuesday kasi naman noh! Dalawang beses sa isang linggo ko lang sha nakikita. Walang aangal. Maawa naman kayo.

Sana he gets to notice me den.

Sana den. Sana he's not gay. HAHA.

GRABE, ANO BANG POST TO. WALANG KWENTA ANG ARTE KO. AHAHAHAH. :)

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Ito ang eksakto kong gagawin. Dadalawin ko sha. Dadalawin ko sha sa Krispy Kreme. At mag-oorder ako ng anim na pirasong Original Glazed na doughnuts at isang tasang kape. Pagkatapos noon, uupo kami magkaharap at kakausapin ko sha.

Sasabihin ko sakanya, "Alam mo ba?" At ang sasabihin niya saken, "Ano?"

"Alam mo ba, isang malaking himala ang nangyayari saken. Isang malaking himala." Ang sagot ko sa kanya.

"Anong himala ito?" Tatanongin niya saken.

"Isang himala na hindi ako makapaniwala."

Pagkatapos noon, tapos na.

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Grabeh. One whole frickin day spent in UP. Medyo nilagkit na ako dun. Nalasahan ko na nga pala pawis ko. Ayon. Maalat-alat. Ang pinakamasaya dun yung part na nakapila ka sa may glass window ng CAL Faculty, habang umaalingasaw ang iba't ibang singaw ng mga sari-saring tao, at walang pumapansin sayo kahit anong mangyari. Lupet nun.

Eto pa. Adventure ITO. Sa isang building sasabihin sayo ganito. Tapos pagpunta mo dun, kabaliktaran naman sasabihin sayong procedure. Nakanaman. Yun siguro talaga ang nature ng mga empleyado ng gobyerno.

Ang hanep pa dun, sasakit mga paa mo sa paghanap ng mga department. Magkakalayo pa. Buti nalang andun si Manong Drayber ng dyip na walang ginawa kundi umikot lang ng umikot sa buong campus. Ang galeng. Kasawa din yun ha. Kahanga-hanga.

Yung general subjects din pala, wala din silang pakialam kung anong kukunin mo basta may ganito kang number of units na nakuha. Ganon. Walang lista. Walang kopya kung ano pede kunin. Wala. As in para kang bulag. Nangangapa lang. Himala.

Eto lang masasabi ko. Mapipilitan ka talagang mahalin ang course mo. Para bang nililigawan--paghihirapan mo talaga para makakuha lang ng slot at makapag-sign ka ng petition na i-open nila ulit yung isang subject. Tumba ako dun.

Hay. Minamahal kong UP.

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Dear Killer,

I now know why. It's because all this time.. All this time. I am inlove with somebody else. I am still inlove with the same person all these years. All this time. That same person who first stole and sold me. All this time. That same person who shot me and poisoned me to my despair. To my agony.

All this time. With you. All this time. It's you.

Should have known better. This is all your fault.

Signed.

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