artist/band: The Civil Wars
telly on: on everything Josh Hutcherson
soundtrack: Summer House - Gold Motel
flick: Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
book: Star Girl - Jerry Spinelli


"The fool looks at a finger that points to the sky."

- Amelie





You know I love you, don't be a fool.

Kira de Ocampo. Singer-Songwriter. Creative Writing student in UP Diliman. I am basically a grandma inside a 21-year-old body.



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the doldroms ? uhm... pretty weird.
the dance ? thanks for the memories - fall out boy
the lexis ? "let the good times roll..."
the periwinkle sky ? counting the stars. with a star.


i was looking through my archives in my former blog, and guess what i found. a letter. to a heartbreaker. who still doesn't know he broke hers. pretty weird huh? this entry was from two years ago... yes, same guy from those years, and i couldn't help but wonder how miserable i would make my life be.


i must admit, it's really difficult remembering to forget him ever since he said goodbye to me. (NOTE: now i'm not talking about that half-pig, half-chicken). i've loved him. i've longed for him. i've missed him. and i've needed him. i still do anyway.


why don't you go check it out?


Dear Anonymous,


I still wish I was your star. So you could gaze at me when you feel all alone. So you could stare at me and know me, and how I feel. So I could cheer you up when everything's fading. But I can never be your star. I could never be the one you'll look at night, you'll wish upon, or wish to hold tight. I'm not your star. And I know that.


So I wished to be one of your satellites. But it was still the same. I could never replace your star, because she's already melting your heart, crashing your world, but somehow she still pleases you. She's your star. And I know that. She's your brilliant star. And when she gleams at you, I know that you feel like the blissful guy in the whole twilight. I wish she doesn't exist. I wish everything's a lie. I wish she's a lie. I wish she'll just burn you and your letters, so you can feel this hurt you're giving me. But still, after all these wishful thinking, a trigger fired me that I can never be your star. Not even the dimmed one. Not even the fading one.


And I'm dying. I'm dying because you never saw and you'll never see how hard it is to accept that I'm not your star.


What you didn't know is that you are my star. And you shine better than any other star. And when you smile, I know that I, looking through my drenched eyes, can see the most beautiful star ever lived. You were my star. You ARE my star. You will always be my star.


And I love this star. And I'll never let this star go. But I have to, for he has another star. So here I'll say goodbye.


Goodbye for now... I may never see you shining again, but I'd still look out at night and I'll always remember that you will never fade in my heart. Never.


Yours,
Still Anonymous.


reading it, i realized how idiosyncratic i was. then again... i still am.


oh, well... LONG LIVE MISERY!!




swing the stars,
katy.*

Labels: for, thanks, the memories

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